Lost in a World That Isn’t Real

Some nights, I wonder—am I doing this all wrong? Should I just tell her again? My mind is drowning in endless dreams, looping the same thoughts over and over. Every night, I see her, I think of her, I wait for something that will never happen.

Every night, the same loop. The same dream. She walks in, sits beside me, and then leaves—again. And I can’t take it anymore. It’s like my mind refuses to let go, forcing me to relive moments that don’t exist. I find myself shouting in my sleep, calling her name—“Harshi, Harshi…” Like a crazy person, as if screaming will change anything.

I need to stop this. But how?

Maybe it’s because I stopped talking to her. Back when we spoke daily, I never felt this haunted. Now, she’s everywhere, in every thought, every place, every conversation. Even when people mention her name casually, it hits me like a punch. They might laugh, think it’s nothing—but for me, it’s everything.

It’s like my mind has built an entire imaginary world—just for me and her. A world that doesn’t exist, but one I keep getting pulled into, unable to escape. And here I am, stuck in a place where reality and dreams blur, wondering where I’ll end up next.

So, what now? Do I just tell her? Get it off my chest and hope that helps? Or do I avoid everything that reminds me of her—stay home, drown in games, lose myself in distractions just to push her out of my mind?

Two choices. Talk to her like nothing happened. Or bury myself in this endless cycle of gaming and pretending I don’t care.

Either way, I need a way out.