Loser Me – A Note to My Future Self

If you found this again, it means you, on your 30th birthday, decided to come back here. Maybe out of curiosity, maybe looking for answers, or maybe just to remind yourself of the things you tried to forget. Either way, here you are.

So, tell me—where the hell are you now? Did you actually make it, or are you just another washed-up version of the person you swore you’d never become? Did you do the things you planned, or did you let life bury you under excuses?

Looking back, I know one thing for sure: I was broke, and because of that, I should not have gotten her. She didn’t deserve to struggle because of me. Even though I knew I couldn’t live without her, I also knew she should never have to suffer like I did. Seeing her in pain, watching her go through the same hardships—it was unbearable. So, if you, future me, actually achieved everything we planned, then you better have kept your word. You better not have let her go. Because if you did, then there’s no way you can ever be truly happy.

If you’re sitting there broke, stuck in the same damn cycle, feeling like you wasted your prime—man, I don’t even need to say it. You already know. You let yourself down. You had all these years to change things, but if you’re still here, still drowning in the same problems, then you didn’t move when you had the chance.

And her? If she’s gone, you know exactly why. Maybe you pushed her away, maybe you never fought hard enough, maybe you thought time would fix things when all it did was take her further. If she’s still around, hold onto that for dear life, because you know damn well you’re not built for loneliness.

And money? Bro, I swear, if you’re still struggling the way you were back then, still making excuses, still looking at other people winning while you sit there, then you wasted years of your life doing absolutely nothing. You had time. You had knowledge. You had chances. If you didn’t make moves, that’s on you.

So now what? You gonna sit there feeling sorry for yourself, scrolling through old memories like they mean something? Or are you finally gonna do something about it?

Go watch your recordings. Look yourself in the eyes and ask—Is this really all you wanted to be?

Because if your life’s still the same mess, if you’re still carrying the same regrets, if you’re still missing what mattered the most—then I only got one thing to say:

You either fix it, or just die broke.